Double Chocolate Twinkie Mummy Pops

Normally I don't like to provoke arguments that I know will only end up in bar-type fight scenarios; glasses smashing, tables upturning, someone crying over in the corner, but sometimes life hands me lemons and I'm fortunate enough to proverbially chuck them at people.

Don't get me wrong, I can be very opinionated, especially when I'm asked for advice or someone is seeking my opinion. Family members don't count. That shiz doesn't need to be solicited and I offer it free of charge and as I please. 

I don't think I will ever understand women that verbally bash their husbands.

I know we all vent to our close girlfriends at some point in time about random things our husbands have done, but these are our girlfriends. I'm on about women who think it's completely acceptable to castigate their husbands and haven't a care in the world who's around or in ear shot.

I very recently had a woman come up to me in the grocery store out of nowhere and tell me what an complete idiot her husband was for making her run out and get ketchup and a baguette for his stupid dinner and how her time is just as valuable as his and how she wasn't his damn personal shopper. She then stormed off as quickly as she appeared. I had the fortunate luck to hear the story for the second time when I realized she was in front of me at the till.  

Okay, I'm sure she was having a bad day, but seriously?

I hate to break it to you genius, but YOU chose him. YOU chose him to be your life partner. YOU chose him to share the rest of your life with him. YOU chose him for better or worse. If you honestly thought he'd change or you could change him, then more fool you. 

No relationship is peaches and roses all the time. As my Grandma often told us, "Don't point at someone because there is always three fingers pointing back at you."

I think it's important to make the most out of any situation and learn the lesson. Like embellishing an already loved snack cake with not one, but TWO types of chocolate.

Perhaps if these sort of women had one of these adorable Mummy pops, they would be happy. 

For a little while anyway. There is no pleasing some people. 

And I'm not about to try.

DOUBLE CHOCOLATE TWINKIE MUMMY POPS

Recipe adapted and slightly modified from In Between Laundry

1 box of Twinkies

2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 teaspoon vegetable shortening

3 cups white chocolate chips or coating, like CandiQuik

Black gel frosting  pen, like Scribblers

Remove Twinkies from their cellophane wrappers. Insert cookie sticks into cakes and place on cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. 

Freeze tray for about 3-4 hours. This will ensure the sticks stay put while dipping into chocolate.

Once Twinkies are frozen, in a heatproof measuring cup, melt semi-sweet chocolate chips and shortening together in microwave for about a minute. Remove and stir until chips become smooth. You can place back in microwave in 30 second intervals should it be needed. Avoid overheating as chocolate will seize up. You can use the stove top method, but be sure to transfer to a deep container to accommodate the length of the Twinkies. 

Dip Twinkies into chocolate and allow excess to drizzle back into cup. Place on parchment paper and return to freezer. Allow to chill for about 10-20 minutes. 

In a heatproof measuring cup, chop white chocolate into small pieces and melt the same way as the semi-sweet chocolate. Do not add shortening. White chocolate is a bit more temperamental than it's cousins, so melt in smaller increments - I did so in 1 cup increments. Remove from microwave and stir until chips become smooth. Again, you can place back in microwave in 30 second intervals should it be needed and avoid overheating as chocolate will seize up. 

Dip cakes into white chocolate and allow to drizzle. Don't worry if they don't look smooth. Mummies are not smooth. 

Return to freezer for 10-20 minutes and allow to set. 

Using a piping bag and Tip #45, place melted white chocolate into bag. It will be hot, so take care when handling bag. Begin to pipe stripes back and forth to emulate the muslin used to wrap Mummies. Again, don't worry about piping it perfectly. Mummies are not perfect. 

Using black food coloring, like Scribblers, pipe two eyes onto mummies. Place in fridge and allow to settle. 

Wrap in cellophane bags and tie with ribbon for fun Halloween treats! 

Yield: 8 Twinkie Mummy Pops.